No Parent is Perfect – No Guilt Trips
Guilt is a tool that has been used for centuries, by parents and teens alike. Even grandparents and siblings know how to throw the guilt around in ord...
Guilt is a tool that has been used for centuries, by parents and teens alike. Even grandparents and siblings know how to throw the guilt around in order to manipulate you and get their way. So if you’re a person with a good heart, you may susceptible to this type of manipulation.
No parent is perfect. But when raising children, especially teens, any little flaw that they may see can be turned around and used as a weapon against you. Kids watch, and they watch closely, and they’re quick to point out a parents flaws, and take the spotlight and heat off of them. It’s an age old tactic, and if you’re a parent and unaware of it, you may fall victim to it.
If your kids have you thinking you’re a bad parent because they pointed out some seemingly ‘weak spot’ in your behavior, then you need to buck up and remind them that you’re a parent, not a saint. And what you say still goes, whether they think you’re flawed or not.
Some of the reasons that kids find for using this manipulative technique is that some parents have to work away from home. So the amount of time spent is brought up – “You’re never here, you’re always gone”. If you’re a single parent, then even though you’re trying extra hard to do things right, you get blasted extra hard for the things they think aren’t right. It’s sad, but it’s a reality for many.
The idea of what makes a good parent is open for interpretation, and varies from parent to parent. But the guilt trip that gets laid on any parent, can sometimes be overwhelming if the parent lets it get to them. No-one who is raising a child, or children, and is doing their best to take care of them, should cave in to the old ‘guilt’ trip. And believe it or not, it’s not always the kids guilt tripping the parents, but many times it’s the other way around. Parents use guilt to get the kids to do what they want them to. No-one is exempt from the use of this nasty tool of manipulation.
So you’re not perfect. Guess what? NOBODY IS! So, people have to be accepted as they are. And in the role of parent, the kids need to understand that you are not perfect, but you are THE PARENT, and you set the guidelines for how the family will go through life. You can’t let guilt manipulate you into letting them have their way. Once you give in, then you open the door to having that happen on a regular basis, and things have just gotten out of control.
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