It is but very common that an eight month old who has just learnt to greet the elders might not respond in front of his parents friends even after repeated requests from his/ her parents. Or would not open his mouth to chew his food much to the anxiety of the parent. Would not like to dress up when going out or would not want to come out of the bath despite stern orders from the parents. This is the cause of real worry for the parent who would otherwise want to do every bit to make their child responsive, obedient and understanding.

But there is a saying that parents are more responsible for this child defiant behavior more than the child themselves. Parents do inadvertently contribute to a child’s defiance and henceforth the development of negativity by being too intrusive and by constantly pestering their own agenda. With an eighteen month old baby, parents may try hard to over stimulate him/her by talking too loudly, talking too much, tickling them too many times, and bouncing around too much. And in their attempt to cope with all that stimulation, the baby protests with either being defiant, fussing or crying. In average it has been seen, that very rule-oriented and rigid parents are more keen to fix their defiant child. Many a times, Parents overreact, take the child’s behavior personally, instead of an attempt for organizing his world and the situation gets more complexed.

There are certain tips for parents that can be of use in handling their defiant child and make him or her adapted to given situation.

1. Parents Can be of great Help for the Defiant Child

An important thing to remember to help a defiant child is to acknowledge his underlying vulnerabilities and insecurities and attend to it in a normal manner as much as possible. It is always possible that underneath the defiance of a child is his/her inability to let the parent directly know how much he/she needs them. The only way he can retaliate is by showing his defiance. Therefore, the parent should try to win over the child’s confidence and trust and somehow meet his needs as comfortably as for any other member of the family.

2. Establishing Security and Trust

It might not be that easy. For toddlers that can still be achieved but for growing up children it is very difficult to win over their trust. Children can be conceited in opening up with parents, but it is a great challenge on the parent’s part to win over their confidence. Trust comes with time and patience and the child should not feel intruded.

3. Setting Limits for the child

Firm limits should be set for the child. Being empathetic is not being sympathetic and so doesn’t mean giving your child what he/she has asked for always. But if another ice cream is refused for which he creates a fuss, or is punished for kicking his brother, the limit needs to be set in a gentle but firm manner.

4. Encouraging Self-Awareness

As the child gets mature, helping him to identify his own tolerance level and sensitivities usually builds in confidence in the child and he would eventually learn to face challenging situations.

These tips have been very practical and has given good results to parents in handling defiant children.

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Specific phobias can interfere significantly in a daily life of the child. The prognosis is that they tend to remit spontaneously over time periods ranging between 1 and 4 years. Some examples of Phobic Disorders in Children are: the darkness phobia, phobia of dogs or phobia to doctors. The phobia of the dark can cause a strong anxiety in the evening at bedtime and tantrums and refusals to sleep outdoors. The phobia of dogs can lead a child to use paths longer or unnecessary detours to get home or to school. The phobia can prevent doctors’ preventive controls, as well as hamper the administration of beneficial treatments.

One of phobic disorders in children, phobia school refusal refers to a child experiencing prolonged to go to school for some kind of fear associated with the school situation. It is rare and tends to occur between 3-4 years or 11-12 years. It affects more boys than girls. His start in young children is sudden, while in older adolescents and is more gradual, more intense and serious, with the worst prognosis. From a clinical perspective, the school phobia is usually preceded or accompanied by physical symptoms of anxiety (tachycardia, sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, pallor, nausea, vomiting, headache) and a cognitive anticipation of negative consequences associated to school as well as a very dependent relationship with the mother and the proliferation of nonspecific fears (the dark, the noises). The result is the avoidance behavior. School phobia is associated with other clinical disorders such as depression and low self-esteem.

Some predisposing factors of school phobia are the existence of anxiety disorders or depression among parents, school-related factors such as fear of a teacher or negative life events such as prolonged illness, or separation from parents. In summary, the school phobia is a complex phenomenon that may indicate the existence of a specific phobia (fear of being injured on playground games), a social phobia (fear of being ridiculed), an obsessive-compulsive disorder (fear to be fouled) or a separation anxiety itself.

The disorder is characterized by avoidance of excessive avoidance of contact with unknown persons for a period exceeding 6 months and interferes with social relationships with peers or school playground. All this is coupled with a clear desire for affection and acceptance of oneself before others. This disorder is diagnosed only after 2.5 years as at an earlier age may be simply the normal evolutionary fear strangers to the child. These children tend to be insecure, shy, low self-confidence and little assertive. Following the Phobic Disorders in children, they may have difficulty in acquiring the social skills needed in the process of adaptation to an environment that is changing dramatically at this age. Social isolation and depression can be the consequences of this disorder.

Recommended book to read related to Phobic Disorders in Children on Amazon.Com:

Phobic and Anxiety Disorders in Children and Adolescents: A Clinician’s Guide to Effective Psychosocial and Pharmacological Interventions (Hardcover)
by Thomas H. Ollendick (Editor), John S. March (Editor) “Diagnostic issues lie at the heart of contemporary scientific approaches to psychopathology…

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Do you know a child who will never try new foods and is constantly fussy about what he or she does eat? Seeing that at least half, if not more, of all toddlers are known for acting like this, chances are the answer is yes. Fussy eating or commonly known as Selective Eating Disorder (SED) is an issue that all parents have to deal with, and one that can be difficult to overcome. However, it is possible to train your child to be more open over time.

Part of addressing fussy eating problems in babies / Children involves establishing healthy eating habits in your children early in life. This also prevents issues like obesity and eating disorders as they grow up. There are a variety of methods you can use in introducing your child to new foods. One is simply to keep trying. Many parents stop trying to get their children to eat something new after they have refused it four or five times. As frustrating as this can be, keep working at it. You might have to try as many as ten times to get your child to give in.

Another effective strategy to handle fussy eating in baby is to try and get into your child’s head and make food fun for them. Children love color, so pick healthy snacks that are bold and bright, such as pieces of fruits and vegetables, and cheese with crackers. Explain the health benefits of eating good food in terms they can understand, tell them it will help them endure longer play time, and be able to run longer distances.

Remember that your child often learns his own behaviors directly from your actions. If you are unwilling to try new foods yourself, chances are your child will act the same. Also don’t assume that your child’s tastes will be exactly the same as yours. If you like a food, don’t force it on them, assuming they will share your feelings, and even you don’t care for a food yourself, offer it to your child, as there is a chance it could become a favorite of his.

Part of the concern over fussy eating in babies comes with a fear that your child might not be eating enough; but this probably isn’t a big issue. So long as your child is healthy and energetic, he is getting what he needs to eat. Children tend to eat small amounts over time as opposed to having three square meals daily, and their little handfuls of food add up quickly. If it helps, keep an eye on your child’s height and weight and check with your pediatrician regularly. However, unless he isn’t feeling well, a child will almost always eat what he needs.

Another good tips on understanding fussy eaters baby is Relax about mealtime. Children know when they are hungry and full, so your main concern should be with what they eat, not how much. Offer as many foods as you can to your child and use your own willingness to eat new things to encourage them to become adventurous themselves. If you keep at it, it is likely that you and your child will eventually share a love for certain foods.

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