Attend a Child as a Normal Family Member to Handle His Defiance
It is but very common that an eight month old who has just learnt to greet the elders might not respond in front of his parents friends even after repeated requests from his/ her parents. Or would not open his mouth to chew his food much to the anxiety of the parent. Would not like to dress up when going out or would not want to come out of the bath despite stern orders from the parents. This is the cause of real worry for the parent who would otherwise want to do every bit to make their child responsive, obedient and understanding.
But there is a saying that parents are more responsible for this child defiant behavior more than the child themselves. Parents do inadvertently contribute to a child’s defiance and henceforth the development of negativity by being too intrusive and by constantly pestering their own agenda. With an eighteen month old baby, parents may try hard to over stimulate him/her by talking too loudly, talking too much, tickling them too many times, and bouncing around too much. And in their attempt to cope with all that stimulation, the baby protests with either being defiant, fussing or crying. In average it has been seen, that very rule-oriented and rigid parents are more keen to fix their defiant child. Many a times, Parents overreact, take the child’s behavior personally, instead of an attempt for organizing his world and the situation gets more complexed.
There are certain tips for parents that can be of use in handling their defiant child and make him or her adapted to given situation.
1. Parents Can be of great Help for the Defiant Child
An important thing to remember to help a defiant child is to acknowledge his underlying vulnerabilities and insecurities and attend to it in a normal manner as much as possible. It is always possible that underneath the defiance of a child is his/her inability to let the parent directly know how much he/she needs them. The only way he can retaliate is by showing his defiance. Therefore, the parent should try to win over the child’s confidence and trust and somehow meet his needs as comfortably as for any other member of the family.
2. Establishing Security and Trust
It might not be that easy. For toddlers that can still be achieved but for growing up children it is very difficult to win over their trust. Children can be conceited in opening up with parents, but it is a great challenge on the parent’s part to win over their confidence. Trust comes with time and patience and the child should not feel intruded.
3. Setting Limits for the child
Firm limits should be set for the child. Being empathetic is not being sympathetic and so doesn’t mean giving your child what he/she has asked for always. But if another ice cream is refused for which he creates a fuss, or is punished for kicking his brother, the limit needs to be set in a gentle but firm manner.
4. Encouraging Self-Awareness
As the child gets mature, helping him to identify his own tolerance level and sensitivities usually builds in confidence in the child and he would eventually learn to face challenging situations.
These tips have been very practical and has given good results to parents in handling defiant children.
















































