A Parent’s Guide in Dealing with Own Shortcomings
When raising children, parents are often wary of advice and trust their own instincts coupled with a dose of common sense. As an old saying goes, “The wise don’t need advice and fools don’t heed it.” Still it would not hurt to listen to a few pieces to be an imperfect parent instead of striving to be the perfect one.
If you are a parent, here are 5 rules that will help you become an understanding and good parent that you should be in spite of your own flaws:
1. Try to be less anxious about your children, less strenuous in your efforts to do right by them. And when they fall short of expectations do not get so worked up trying to remedial help. Do not entertain visions of a ruined life for them in the future. Stop searching within yourself where you went wrong.
2. Remind yourself that you are their parent and not their Creator that parents are gardeners not sculptors. Have enough faith in them and trust that they have in themselves to become the people they were meant to be and you, as parent will help them uncover their potentials.
3. Teach by example, certain virtues you wish to foster in your children. Truthfulness, kindness, creativity, patience and thoughtfulness are qualities best learned not by constant lecture but by developing exactly the same things in yourself.
4. Never shame the children for their faults which can be yours as well. When they mess up, do listen to their side of the story. Make a real effort to understand their version – and design appropriate punishment that will help them learn their lesson without jeopardizing their fragile faith in themselves.
There are days when you feel frazzled, frustrated and furious. Instead of blowing up at your children, take time out to analyze what it is that is really troubling you and deal with it directly. It may be your work, or your finances, your mate or your health, things which your children have nothing to do with. Oftentimes children bear the brunt of emotional outbursts and not know why.
5. Teach yourself the art of saying ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry.’ These are words we can easily say to an adult but find it difficult to say to our children. When you fail to keep a promise, make it a point to own up to it, tell the truth and say you are sorry.
